


In the Land of Gods and Monsters

by BAdeMorte



Category: Constantine (Comic), Constantine (TV), Hellblazer, The Sandman (Comics)
Genre: And Now For Something Completely Different, Death Does have a sense of humour, Death really isn't this clueless, Did I mention drinking, F/M, I don't know, John really doesn't know boundaries, Just read and see for yourself, Lots of drinking., Maybe. - Freeform, There's lots of drinking., who knew
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 00:33:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6543160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BAdeMorte/pseuds/BAdeMorte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There has been one being that John Constantine has been running from all his life. With the way he does things, he knew it was a matter a time before he had a meet up with Death. Just didn't think it was her asking him for help trying to figure out a strange mystery. If something had Death on edge, he knew that he should worry. Of course, that didn't mean he couldn't have fun with Madame Reaper. Hopefully, she has a good sense of humour, or this could be John's last adventure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Land of Gods and Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing but some Hellblazer comics, a battered trench coat, and an overactive imagination. The rest someone else owns. Also, again this John Constantine is a mix of the comics and the show. Enjoy and leave comments. I love comments

She was restless. It wasn’t because she was bored. Being Death meant that there was more than plenty to do. It was just that last reaping had set her on edge. There had been something off by it. She didn’t know what, but she knew to trust her instincts. 

And after talking to Dream, she had a course of action. Her younger brother was always going on about the mortal John Constantine. She had heard of him. He was good at causing uproars in Hell. She didn’t think she had ever heard of a mortal that went to Hell and back so many times that it made one wonder if it had a revolving door. Even if he couldn’t help her feel more at ease, he sounded like a lot a fun. 

Dream just rolled his eyes, when she made that comment. She had to point out that she wasn’t Desire, but Death. That she already had her one day as a mortal this century. So, she wouldn’t be interested in /that/ kind of fun. He still told her to be careful. Always the watchful brother.

It didn’t take that long for her to find the place. The man might live in a wooded area of Georgia, but she knew how to find a soul. The tricky part was to introduce herself. It would come a bit of a shocker to some, but knocking on the door and introducing yourself as Death doesn’t get a person a lot of invites. She was going to try and be more subtle. 

She was able to find out from her brother that this mortal liked pubs….a lot. She could work with that. After some questions, she found the place that he liked to hangout. Usually to get shitfaced and go home with some drunk woman. Death made no judgement. That wasn’t her job. Not only that, if anyone needed to drink away memories, it was this man. She couldn’t understand why a mortal was entrusted with so much. The burden must be crushing. 

Sitting on the bar-stool with her black battered top hat, she decided against taking off her leather jacket with the bright smiley face button on the lapel. It was a bit brisk in here and people might give her even odder looks. Had to blend in. 

Taking off her shades, she folded them up and lightly tap them on the bar-top, while swinging her legs in a rather playful and careless manner. All she had to do was wait now. Of course, she couldn’t help but make sure that the jukebox played Bella Morte, even though it only had country music in it. She was sure that Constantine would be happy with that change.

It didn’t take long for the bartender to come up and set a drink down in front of her. Ted was one of those souls that did his best and loved what he did, usually. The two burly gentlemen complaining about the lack of Hank Williams playing probably wasn’t something he was enjoying. Still, he was a good soul that enjoyed the simple things. She felt most people would be better off if they adopted Ted’s attitude about life.

He grumbled his words, sounding a bit confused, “Compliments from the guy in the trench coat.”

She could have guessed from his look that something was going on. He seemed to be trying to figure out a puzzle that had a piece missing. The person that seemed to have sent the drink did bring it home to her. It seems the Laughing Magician was here and she had his attention. Good. She didn’t have to think up a plan to introduce herself.

Taking a sip of the drink, she then beamed at the bartender, “Thank you, Ted. Most don’t seem to get the water and vodka ratio right, but you’ve perfected it. Could you please tell him that it’s rude to keep a lady waiting? Of course to be fair, I didn’t really give him any warning.”

Ted blinked once and then twice before walking away with a nod mumbling, “Water? There wasn’t any water.”

As she took another drink from her glass, she saw that some of the patrons were glaring at her. Maybe she wouldn’t mess with the jukebox next time. It seemed people were a bit touchy about their drinking music.

Hearing a light thump, she turned her head to see a blonde man leaning on the bar. She was pretty sure that this was John Constantine. Not that she hadn’t seen a glimpse of him a time or two. After all, he had come close to meeting her a few times. Kind of expected with his life. As he lit his cigarette, she thought that she might have caught up to him sooner than later, if this meeting didn’t happen.

As the smoke curled around them, he said, “Now I don’t remember anyone on my dance card for tonight. Did I miss that announcement or something?”

She couldn’t help but be amused by his approach. Should have known that he would take this calmly. Having Death pop by for a drink wasn’t the most shocking thing that had ever happened to him. Probably pretty run of the mill.  
Shaking her head, “Nope. You didn’t miss anything, John. My brother talks about you a lot. Says that you’re quite the charmer. Not that I would know, since you sure do your best to avoid me. Don’t worry. I’m not offended. Most of your kind like to avoid me.”

Seeing the confusion on his face, she continued, “You’re one of the few that would remember my brother while awake. You helped him out a bit ago in retrieving something of his.” 

She waited for the information to settle into his mind before she said, “Forgive the unexpected visit, but my brother said that you’re the best at figuring things out. I would have sent a formal note, but I have a feeling that time is short. Will you hear me out, John?”

Sitting still, she watched him with her light blue eyes, hoping that he would be curious enough to listen. Her brother said that John was usually taken by a pretty face. She hoped that this time it would be the case. If he didn’t help her figure this out soon, she felt that the universe would suffer greatly for it. Poor man. Another burden to shoulder.

Apparently he needed more than a few moments to process this, because he took a few drags off of his cigarette without saying or even looking at her. She had a strange feeling that he was doing it on purpose. With most beings, it would have annoyed them. She was used to waiting. It was kind of her thing. Waiting for others to crossover to her realm.

After he flicked a bit of ash off into an ashtray, he said, “I’m guessing by the cryptic introduction, your brother is Dream. Haven’t seen him in a while.”

It was his way of trying to find out what happen. She could understand that. John was one of the many mortals that had been at Dream’s wake. Her brother had been destroyed by the Kindly Ones because of a loophole and a grief-stricken mortal. Ironically, the mortal lost what she was trying so hard to get back because of it, her son. He became the next version of Dream. It was complicated and yet simple at the same time. He was the same Dream and yet a different Dream. Trying to explain it might cause most mortals to develop a headache.

Seeing that she was keeping silent, he continued, “And if I’m avoiding you, that makes you Death?”

Nodding at his answer, “Not just a pretty face I see. Good. I’m glad that you’re just as clever as I heard. We’re going to need that.”

They were going to need all the cleverness and luck they could get to figure out this mystery. The thing was that she didn’t know what was wrong. Just that something was wrong. It was most vexing. Just sitting next to the man soothed her nervousness, which was strange. It was usually the other way around. She was the one the one that was soothing others. It seemed that there was more to this man then even Dream understood.

Adjusting her top hat again, she said, “You can call me Didi. That’s the name that the Universe gave me the last time I had my one day as a mortal. Calling me what I am might make the locals nervous, or even hostile. We don’t want that. You might need to find another place to think then.”

It was really a nice way of saying that he usually came here to get blitzed out of his mind to try and forget. She had met similar souls like him. They had seen and done so much that the memories haunted them. Drinking one was one of the many ways that they tried to forget. It never worked. The memories always came back, usually stronger than before. She didn’t tell John that because she knew that he wouldn’t listen. They never did.

He choked and coughed a bit. At first she thought it was because of the smoke. It took her a second to realize that he was surprised. Little Ol Death surprised John Constantine. That had to be a first. She couldn’t wait to tell Dream this. As far as she knew, her brother was never able to surprise the man next to her.

When he could finally breathe again, “Didi? Well, we couldn’t want to start panic like the Apocalypse was on the way or something.”

She had no clue as to why the name she gave him surprised him, nor did she understand what he found so amusing. As long as she had been around mortals, she never really understood them. She found them rather fascinating, but she didn’t get them. Of course, she understood the reason why she didn’t nor would never understand them. One day as a mortal could help her understand why she needed to be warm and understanding, but it couldn’t help her understand everything about being mortal. It would take more than one day for that.

The amusement was still on his face as he asked, “Now what would be so important that you would need to personally visit me to ask, Madame Reaper?”

He was so strange. This man was more shocked by the name she gave than the fact that she was Death. If anything, he seemed rather accepting of that fact. She was starting to feel that it didn’t matter if she understood mortals, she would still never be able to understand John Constantine. 

Blinking before answering him, “If you do not like the name, you can give me another one. I do not mind. I hate to think that I came to you for help and end up reaping you because you keep choking on my name.”

Any humour that was on her faded at his question, “That’s the thing. I don’t know and it is most irritating. I know that something is wrong, but I can’t tell what. My brother told me to talk to you. That you have a sense of things and can tell when something is wrong. Though I would rather not tell my tale here? Care to take a walk?”

It seemed that what she said entertained him greatly, instead of worrying him. It seemed this man was never react the way most people would. She didn’t know if she would ever get a handle on this one. It was rather fascinating. 

He started laughing again, “Let me get this straight. Your brother actually /suggested/ that you come to me for help? Me? John Constantine. Are you sure you heard him correctly?”

She rolled her eyes at that comment. Even though she couldn’t blame him. Her brother was a bit …..odd to say the least. Dream and John were different and yet very similar at the same time. They both tended to be much harder on themselves than anyone else ever could.

Before she could say anything, he tugged on her arm. Okaaaay. She wasn’t really use to this. Most mortals did their best to avoid touching her even when she had her one day of living. The fact that he just did that just stunned her. Who was this guy?

As she was being thrown for a loop. He was talking, “Ya right. Might be healthier to take a walk. Come on, luv.”

Seeing that the locals were staring at her, she realized that messing with the music wasn’t her best move. Oh dear. She would know better next time. She allowed him to lead her away. It didn’t make much sense to resist or even argue with him. He was right. A walk would be a smart move.

As they left, she waved to the bartender, “Thanks for the drink, Ted. Might want to get the wiring checked though. Can’t be too careful with that.”

It wasn’t interference per se. If she gave a suggestion and they followed it that was their choice. Of course, most usually didn’t. A shame really.

With one last wave and a hop, she followed the man in the trench coat into the cold night. Something might be wrong, but it didn’t upset her really. It seemed there was a bigger mystery on her hands. The mystery of John Constantine. What fun.


End file.
